Short Film: Love & I

The last 3 months have been a whirlwind; creatively, emotionally, and spiritually. In late November, I decided after 30 absent years, I would go looking for my father. Coming to this decision did not happen overnight. I would say it took over a year, filled with prayer, being open and honest with friends and family about my fatherless upbringing, and a series of brave, blessed and perfectly serendipitous moments.

One BIG thing that helped move me past the idea of it and towards actually executing my plan was my decision to write about it.  As a filmmaker the ability to step back and think about my life like a story allowed me to take action more easily. I decided I was ready to look for him, even if that meant finding something sad. I was ready to know more. I was ready to own my story no matter how it looked or ended. I did not need a happy ending. I needed to know I tried my best to have closure.

Luckily, I have the greatest roommate in the world. No joke! I never had to ask, he offered to come with me to Portland (from Los Angeles) to search for my dad, even though all I had was an address. My only clue. He not only provided me with the security of not being alone, but he made me feel excited about how we had to become old school detectives to find him. Since the subject matter had been weighing on my heart for so long, having him there to make it light and adventurous was exactly what I needed. I will forever be grateful to you, Dave!

Long story short, I found my Dad. It was actually quite easy to find him. The rest is a little more complicated and still unwritten. Complicated and hard, but good!

Right after I had found my Dad, Digital Bolex announced a short film competition called “Fearless Filmmaking”. The winners would have their films showcased at Slamdance 2015. I quickly knew I had to write and create a short film about my experience finding my Dad. I wrote/directed/and reluctantly acted in my short film over the span of 5 days. With the help of my VERY talented friends, we created a short film called “Love & I’ that Digital Bolex chose to showcase at Slamdance!

I know not everyone can relate to losing a father at a young age and finding him 30 years later. But this short film is not about that. It’s about overcoming your greatest fears and pushing yourself past what you know and out of your comfort zone. It’s about living a fearless life. It’s about forgiveness and love. It’s about owning your story.

You can watch it here. I hope you enjoy it!  I know you can do anything you set your heart and mind to. I truly believe we can all live a more fearless life. #fearlessin2015

Love, Heather